man oh man do i hate thinking. well, let me rephrase: i hate thinking when i have such a heavy heart. it's almost like i look at the most pessimistic angle of situations that haven't changed for as long as i can remember...
but maybe it's me that needs to change. i still have no idea who i am, what i want to be, where i'm going... blah blah blah. but i do know that i'm at a great place in my life and i do know that i'm a good person and that people like me and i do know that i am ready for some company along my journey. for the longest time i shied away from any sort of commitment because i simply wasn't ready to give up my independence. fast forward to present time, and although my mindset has changed, my ways of maneuvering have stayed as they always have been. thankfully i stopped slutting myself around a long time ago (new year's eve, 2007 to be exact...), but why do i still find excuses to keep time with boys who tell me they don't want to be with me, and boys that send me "happy vday" messages in a drunken stuper the day after valentine's day? (note: if you can't spell it out, you probably don't mean it, and i will not be having sex with you...). i have no idea what i want, but i know it's not this.
wish me luck along my journey... of finding something (or someone) great.
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i love how honest and fresh you are.. keep it coming.. love knowing what's in that head of yours and here is the perfect forum for you to release into the universe all that is thought about
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